When I was 17 years old, I started getting involved with homosexuality. Now, I dealt with that for 3 years and then I moved away, not knowing that the homosexual spirit was following me everywhere else. I fought it and fought it. I would get delivered from it and then it would come back and I’d get delivered and it would come back. But this time, I know I’m delivered from it and I can feel in my spirit that I’m delivered from it. The thing is, the old friends keep coming around, being persistent. It’s like the enemy is trying to pull me back. So, what do I do about these people?
First of all, let me congratulate you on being honest, number one. Number
two, on being a fighter. You’ve done great. I’m proud of you. You’ve fought and
you didn’t give up. God’s proud of you.
So, how do you deal with old friends? In two ways. Number one, you don’t be
deceived by the thoughts that keep coming to you because even though the
thoughts come, that doesn’t mean that you’ve given in to them. That doesn’t mean
that there’s something wrong with you just because you’ve had thoughts. We’ve
all had thoughts. We all have had millions of thoughts. That is why the Bible
says we need to take thoughts captive.
The difference between your life now and what you were before is that now you’re
dealing with it. In the past, the thoughts would grow and then they would become
an imagination, something that you’d think about all the time, and then it would
become a stronghold. It would have a strong hold on you and it would control
your actions and behavior. That’s how it was in the past.
But now, you’re dealing with it in the thought level. Now it gets to the
thoughts and you don’t let it go to the imaginations and you don’t let it become
a stronghold so now it can’t control you. So keep taking those thoughts captive.
Realize that even though the thoughts come, that’s not who you really are. Even
though the thoughts come, the real you is a woman of God, a child of God, a
woman who can control herself and can avoid sexual sin.
You need to continue to deal with things at your thought level. Intensify that
even more and fill yourself up with the Word of God because you need to replace
bad thoughts with God’s Word in your mind and coming out of your mouth.
The second thing you must do is you must sever relationships with those people.
You must not call them. You must not let them call you. You must not answer
their calls. You must not respond to them. You have to cut off those
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 15:33-34, “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
So, it’s being with the wrong people that will corrupt you and it’s not you. You
are a new creature in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “If any man is in Christ,
he is a new creature. The old things have passed away.” You’re a brand-new
person. But your new person can still be corrupted and act like the old person
if you hang around that crowd still.
So you’ve got to avoid those environments and avoid those people. Run from them.
Flee. The Bible says flee from them. If you’ve said everything that you can say
to them, then just stay away from them.
Really, for me, it wasn’t me running away from my friends. It was that I began
preaching to them and they ended up running away from me. Some got saved and
then the others ran away. They didn’t want anything to do with me. So attack
them with the Word and start preaching to them if they keep coming. Remember God
told Lot to separate himself from those that were in Sodom and Gomorrah that
were homosexuals and lesbians.
And I’m not judging homosexuals and lesbians. We know that the act of
homosexuality is wrong but the people are just as loved by God as I’m loved by
God; as my newborn baby is loved by God. God loves the person who is in
homosexuality as much as He loves my baby.
God told Lot, “Get out of the city and run from Sodom and Gomorrah.” But he
didn’t do it at first. The people there kept pressing against him, pressing
against him, pressing against him and it ended up costing him his wife and some
of his children because he did not really take it seriously the first time. And
then the angel had to really to pull him out of there and it was too late for
some of the rest of his relatives.
You answered a question about the gay and lesbian population and you said that they are born homosexual. I have a problem with that answer and I wish you would just clarify it a little bit. Doesn’t choice play a part in that?
I wasn’t saying that the gay and lesbian communities are the ones who are
born homosexuals. Somebody asked me, “Can someone be born homosexual? Do you
believe that’s possible?” My normal answer would have been, “No, nobody’s born
homosexual.” But then the Lord stopped me and said, “I want you to realize, son,
everybody on this earth is born a homosexual, a liar, a thief, an adulterer, a
cheat, all of those.”
We’re all born sinners and unless one is born again, he cannot enter the kingdom
of God, John 3:3 says. We all need to be born again whether the only sin we ever
committed was stealing our brother’s rattle or whether the sin we committed is
being a homosexual, we were all born sinners and that’s why we must be born
I didn’t become a sinner when I started to sin. I became a sinner by being born
into the human race under the seed of Adam. And that’s why I have to be born
again and that’s why you and every person who’s involved in homosexuality and
immorality and drunkenness and everything else, we all need to be born again
simply because we were all born sinners to begin with.
And absolutely choice plays a part in it. Even though we’re born sinners, we
choose whether we’re going to live lifestyles of sin. So, yes, choice definitely
takes place in the matter. When I was of age to sin, there are some sins that I
chose and there are some sins that I did not choose. One of the sins that I did
not choose was the sin of homosexuality. Nevertheless, I was still born with the
seed of homosexuality and so were you and so was everybody else. I was born with
the seed of alcoholism in me. That doesn’t mean I was an alcoholic.
But every one of us was born with the seed of all sin inside of us and that’s
why we have to be born again so that we can have the seed of God’s spirit inside
of us and then, yes, we still need to make the choice. But just because I chose
to go after women and some other man chose to go after men, neither of us were
right. We were both sinners and we need to be born again.
I think that my 19 year old son is sexually attracted to men. I’ve encouraged him to talk to me about anything, but he won’t open up. Please help.
That’s a legitimate concern, obviously. You’ve got to do a couple of things.
Number one, if he has a father, you’ve got to get his father involved if his
father is a good man.
Now, if his father is somebody that has hurt him, has sexually assaulted him in
some way or abused him in some way, either emotionally or sexually or in any
way, if he abused your son, that’s not somebody that you want to talk to him.
But there’s go to be a relationship that can be established between him and some
godly men in your church. So, if you’re plugged into a church, the first thing
you need to do is make sure you’re plugged into a good, Bible-believing church.
Secondly, get some men in the church who you see as godly men, who are leaders
in the church to maybe start developing a relationship with your son, going to
movies, going out to eat, for a cup of coffee, something that would establish a
relationship with your son. And then they can start to open up with him and he
can start to open up with them. But if you already hit it head-on with him,
you’re not going to be able to open him up. Hopefully some men can establish a
relationship, maybe they come around and play some basketball with him or
something, that would be the best way to start to see him open up to them.
There’s also some good material out there about lust and about sexual sin. Steve
Arturburn is the author of a book called Every Man’s Battle. There’s a website
that you can go to called everymansbattle.com and it deals with sexual sin and
sexual addictions. I think that it would be a good thing for you to look up some
books or material that you can read up on so that you can be praying for your
son and ministering to him. That would be very, very good for you to do as well.
Outside of that, obviously praying for him is never going to hurt. It’s always
going to succeed. James 5:16, “the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man
avails much.” And pray with authority. Command Satan, command the spirit of
lust, the spirit of homosexuality to take its hands off of your son in the name
of Jesus. And pray with authority, pray with power. Don’t just pray hoping that
God will do something. You command that devil to be gone.
Now, also, I want you to know that the sin of homosexuality is no different than
the sin of heterosexuality. Sex outside of marriage is just as much sin as
anything else and sex inside of marriage can be sin when it’s motivated by lust
and impurity. My point is that God looks at the heart and God wants a pure
heart. And if you’re sinful in the area of heterosexuality, homosexuality is not
any worse. What’s the difference between somebody who commits adultery with
somebody of the opposite sex and somebody who commits immorality with somebody
of the same sex? To God, it’s the same thing. To God, sin is sin.
So, the person who has feelings or a person who has a sense of being drawn to
other men is no different than the man who is drawn to other women that are not
his wife. Sin is sin. And we need to guard our hearts. If my sin is smoking and
drinking, and your sin is homosexuality, am I better? Is my sin less bad because
it’s not homosexuality? I don’t believe that. I believe that to God, sin is sin.
I don’t see “levels” of sin in the Bible, at least to my knowledge.
And again, I’m not endorsing homosexuality, but I’m saying if you treat it as
taboo, like “Ooooh. There’s a real bad person. He’s a homosexual. But this guy
over here who’s into pornography and loose living, he’s not as bad.” He’s just
as bad. Lust is lust. Sin is sin. And we need to see that. If we can communicate
that to people, get that across to people who struggle with homosexuality,
they’ll stop being alienated and they’ll start coming to people who can help
them and that’s people who are not judging them any more than we’re judging
anybody else. And we shouldn’t be judging anybody; we should be taking the log
out of our own eye so that we can see clearly to take the speck out of somebody
My question has to do with the spirit of lesbianism as it seems like it has really taken control of a lot of young girls’ lives. Can you give us spiritual insight on why there seems to be such a demonic possession over young girls’ minds and how do we deal with this?
The reason why girls fall into this is because they are so betrayed by men.
Men are so irresponsible in these last days. They’ve been so neglectful, so
unloving. And they’ve just treated women like sex objects and like sex symbols.
What ends up happening is women reject that. They resent that. And they want to
go be with somebody who’s going to appreciate them for who they are. And
sometimes they find that the people who understand them are of the same sex. Now
I’m not saying that’s right; I’m saying that’s why some women may find an excuse
to fall into that sin. But, ultimately, every sexual sin in men’s and women’s
lives comes from what I call the “Father Fracture.”
Somewhere along our lives there was a fracture in our relationship with our
fathers. There’s something inside of us that’s broken and it needs to be fixed
and it needs to be healed. Often our earthly father disappointed us, let us
down, and didn’t raise us with love and affirmation and affection. We need to
forgive that man and we need to go to our Heavenly Father and receive the
affection and the love that only He can give. And when we get it from Him, men
and women will not want to participate in sexual sin anymore because they are
getting their affection and affirmation from our Heavenly Father. We just did a
teaching on that called, Healing the Father Fracture, and I’d encourage you to
go to the Online Bookstore section of our website at changinglives.org and get
There is supposed to be separation between church and state, so is it wrong for the state to recognize gay marriages?
Yes, simply because God doesn’t recognize gay marriage. He created men and women to be married. The issue of separation of church and state was to keep the state from controlling religion. That’s what America came from. England had a state religion, but America said, “We don’t want a state-approved religion. We want people to choose their faith freely.” But the separation of church and state doesn’t mean that a state cannot endorse the laws of God. A state actually should endorse the laws of the Bible because that’s what made America great to begin with.